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Jim, our resident technical writer, is a bit of a wiz when it comes to knowing all the nuances of writing.  Challenge him to list all the 100+ prepositions and he’ll accept your challenge, complete it and get you a cup of coffee before you can say, “Sally sells seashells by the seashore.”  Since he’s such a huge help during our editing work, we thought we’d share the gift of Jim with our customers and friends.  In part one of an ongoing series, here is Jim’s first tip to improve your business writing. 

You might need help with business writing if:

• At your last PowerPoint presentation everyone in the room yawned
• No one responds to your e-mails
• Your boss rejected a business case you prepared

There are many reasons why the above things happen. But it’s possible those things happen because your writing is vague and weak. One way to make your writing more clear and powerful is to eliminate the passive voice. What’s the passive voice? Here’s an example:

The car was started by Ted.

When I read that sentence, I think, the car didn’t do anything, so why is it the subject of the sentence? Ted did all the work by starting the car, so he should be the subject.

A way to tell if your sentences are in the passive voice is by asking, “Is the subject of the sentence doing something?” If not, your sentence is probably in the passive voice. Instead, use the active voice: Let the subjects of your sentences do, let the subjects run or plan or summarize or figure out. Using the active voice gives your sentences clarity and power.

Here is another example of the passive voice and how to instead utilize the active voice:

Passive Voice
The network was protected from the prominent malware attack.
(Weak and unclear. The network doesn’t act. It receives action. And what protects the network anyway?)

Active Voice
Sophos anti-virus software protected the network from the prominent malware attack.
(Clear and more powerful. Here, it’s obvious what protects: Sophos does.)

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About Josh
A proud graduate of Gustavus Adolphus College in St. Peter, Minnesota, Josh is the Editor-in-Chief of this blog and regularly contributes Friday Fun Links, RJS news and interesting technology notes. Prior to joining RJS, Josh worked at the Ronald McDonald House in Minneapolis. Outside of work, Josh enjoys the outdoors, fantasy football, classic movies, baseball and wine.